Did you know that recent research (peer reviewed, obvs, because I’m not an idiot) has found that extreme savings plans negatively impact an individual’s mental health more than the collective effects of going back to work after a holiday, having to eat silver beet, and being stranded on the side of the road due to a car break down? I should know, as I have endured all these scenarios (apparently you should be regularly checking your car’s temperature gauge, who knew?), and the extreme savings plan is definitely the worst. I’ve already explored the many and varied reasons why extreme savings plan suck so badly, but most notable is all of the pretty, pretty things I cannot buy.
A raincoat with tigers on it and some of the tigers are wearing sneakers
Silly tigers! Why are some of them wearing sneakers? You don’t need sneakers, you’re tigers! I however, am in great need of this raincoat. It may be summer but it is also Melbourne, and as I write the weather is in the process of changing from a sunny (and ridiculous) 38 degrees to thunder storms and temps in the mid-teens. A raincoat is essential and also there are tigers on it and some of the tigers are wearing sneakers. The prosecution rests, Your Honour.
A very large, very elaborate, very expensive candle
At most recent count, my current candle stash is down to only 482 hours burn time, which is simply not enough. To avoid being in the unimaginable position of being out of candles (shudder), I need this giant candle in the pretty “handcrafted ceramic vessel”. It’s handcrafted! Plus it promises “a fusion of warm woods and spicy aromatics”, which sounds delightful. And at nearly two kilograms and with a burn time of 200 hours this bad boy is basically a staple item.
A palette with 10 full size blush and highlight shades
I don’t really think I need to explain why I need this. Just look at it. It’s exclusive and limited edition so it doesn’t get much better than that. Plus it’s pretty! And it will make me pretty! I’m not actually sure how I’m surviving day-to-day without this thing of beauty.
A robot vacuum cleaner
I live in an apartment but it still takes at least a quarter of an hour to vacuum the floors. A whole 15 minutes! When I think of all the quarter hours I’ve wasted vacuuming I could cry. We have cars that drive themselves, surely I do not still need to be doing my own vacuuming in 2016. Enter the Roomba. This majestic beast is good for up to two hours of vacuuming on a single charge. Plus this one can be controlled remotely through an app so I wouldn’t even need to get off the couch to turn it on. Also maybe I can train my cat to dress up like a shark and ride it around the kitchen.