Georgia, love

With just one week to go until the televised dating spectacular that is The Bachelorette Australia graces our screens for its second season, I’ve been reviewing all that we know so far about its heroine (?), Georgia Love.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: her name is Georgia Love. Georgia Love. And she’s looking for love. GEDDIT? Sorry Georgia, love, but I’m going to need to see at least 100 points of ID before I’ll be anywhere near believing that’s your real name. You can’t just use whatever it is you’re seeking as a surname. Johnny One-Million-Dollars. Barbara Chocolate-And-A-Nice-Night-In. Jasmine Self-Actualisation.

Next, she’s a television journalist. But like in Tasmania. Even I could be a television journalist in Tasmania, and I don’t even watch the television news. Sometimes I can’t even get the television to work, like I can never remember which HDMI setting is the recorder and setting the timer is hard because it’s on 24-hour time and I’ve never been in the army so I don’t know what 22.00 is. Also sometimes the Chromecast drops out and if turning it off and on again doesn’t fix it then I’m out of ideas. And I would still be the best television journalist Tasmania has ever seen.

Finally, and I think most importantly, Georgia bears a very slight resemblance to Kate Middleton, most notably in the way they have both been photographed wearing sunglasses. If you haven’t read this article from the Daily Mail then you haven’t truly lived. This is journalism at its finest, and honestly Georgia could probably learn a lot about her craft from a quick read.

The Bachelorette premieres next Wednesday 21 September, which should give me just enough time to work out what 7.30pm is in 24-hour time.

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